No BS for Valentine's Day 2007

Here are some tips you can try out this Valentine's Day. I've tried most of these. They have been fun and rewarding so far.

Call Your Parents and Tell Them Exactly Where They Went Wrong.

Cleanse your baggage by embracing it. But first call your parents and tell them your perception of how it all went down. Say something like: "Happy Valentine's Day, Mom. So, why did you have me while you were dating an alcoholic, broke, and before you had adequate therapy?" Don't blame your parents of course. They did the best they were capable of. Just let your feelings be known. Many therapists will tell you NOT to have this conversation with your parents. I'm not a qualified professional, so go right ahead. I did it a few years back - against the advice of my therapist - and I felt great. Now the parental units and I get along even better. It's great to own your feelings, and to verbalize them, without blaming someone else as the cause. After all, it's just your perception. Then go buy an NLP CD, reframe the whole situation as positive, and go change the world with your art or JavaScript.

Download a Cheesy 70s One Hit Wonder Song to Your IPOD.

I recommend "Thunder Island" by Jay Ferguson, or "Ah Leah" by Donny Iris. Ok, I don't know where I'm going with this tip, but I'm going to leave it here anyway since it's my site.

Act First - Think Later

2007 is about going with your gut. Don't be hasty. But don't over analyze either. Practice self-awareness. Practice it hyper-vigilantly if it's new to you. Then see what's driving you. If you like what is driving you then go with your gut. Do what it's telling you: "quit your job", "buy a house", "ask that person to coffee", "throw a tomato at Walmart" etc...

If you don't like what's driving you get some therapy. Or try NLP CDs, or JAPA meditation. Maybe try touchy feely spiritual stuff. Whatever gets you to learn to like what's driving you - even if fear and ego is still the impetus driving you. That impetus will lose control over you by becoming aware of it, by learning to accept it, by learning to love it, and by telling your parents off.

Approach a Cute Stranger and Purposely Mess It Up

Give yourself permission to strike up a conversation with a stranger and totally mess it up. For example, if you're a guy and you spot a cute girl; using a fake redneck southern accent, start a conversation with: "You sure got a purty mouf" <-- ( pronounced "mouth" with an 'f'.) Say this to the first cute girl you see. Don't expect much. But then later in the day start a normal conversation with a new girl. With girl number two strike up the conversation with assumed rapport. Just be yourself. Ask her to tell you a joke or a secret. Do not give her a courtesy laugh if her joke is not funny. But do tell her a joke or secret back.

There is this weird magic that happens when you embrace your creepiness (like you did with girl number one): It seems to go away. Remember: "Loud guys usually do not creep out women. Quiet guys do."

Go to a Movie By Yourself

Solo movie going is empowering. I finally did it for the first time early last year. After the first time I was hooked. Get there early so you can get great seats. Then sprawl out and take up space: Spread your arms out over the chairs next to you. And kick your feet up on the chair in front of you. I saw Clerks II by myself. It was so funny I had to go back the following week and see it with a friend. You don't have to go on a Saturday night: Monday and Wednesday nights are great for solo movie going.

So there you have it. Happy Valentine's Day.
~Barrista

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