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The Dos and Don'ts of Conquering Valentines Day
Whether you're madly in love, deliriously dating, or single and fabulous, these tips will help you survive - and even thrive - on February 14th!
By Lisa Steadman, AKA The Relationship Journalist™
If you're like me, February 14th feels like a delayed New Year's Eve hangover. You had such a good time at the party, you hoped, maybe even prayed the gods would be kind to you just this once. You managed to slink through January relatively unscathed. No signs of Cupid or candy hearts with cutesy sayings or - wait a minute. Is that a stuffed frog with a crown and the phrase "Kiss Me" on its furry belly?! Unfortunately my friends, your Hallmark hangover has arrived. But fear not. The following are some tried and true tips for getting you through this most saccharine celebration (along with appropriate DVD rental suggestions to fit any mood!).
Do: Give thanks for the ones who got away
My website www.BreakupChronicles.com dubs February 14th "Breakup Celebration Day." Why? Because in addition to celebrating the love in your life, ya gotta give thanks for the ones who are no longer here. Remember that cheating heart you once thought was the love of your life? What about the nice guy who just didn't "get" you? Or the lovable pothead who couldn't get his act together? Now's the time to give thanks that they're gone. Because even if you haven't yet met the love of your life, in letting go of those old relationships you have given yourself permission to be your most fabulous self. And in doing so, you're bound to meet someone who's better suited for you.
Rent: What's Love Got To Do With It, The Tao of Steve
Don't: Feel sorry for yourself if you don't have an S.O.
Pity parties are SO last year. This is the year of you, fabulous you! And if you happen to be single, celebrate. And remember, even though it may sometimes feel like it, being single is not terminal. It's terrific! But it's up to you to make the most of it. And you do that by being your most authentic and amazing self. And being open to the endless possibilities.
Rent: Me Myself I starring Rachel Griffiths (not to be confused with Me, Myself & Irene starring Jim Carrey), Shirley Valentine
Do: Celebrate the love in your life
Whether it's romantic love, true friendships, that unshakable bond between you and your pets, or the love you have for your family, today's the day to take a look around and realize just how lucky you are. Maybe Mr. or Ms. Right hasn't found you. But you know what? You are loved. When you celebrate that, it shows. (And you never know who might be watching and falling in love with you!)
Rent:The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Return to Me
Don't: Buy generic candy or flowers
Paying too much for an overpriced standard menu dinner at a fancy restaurant is SO 2005. So is buying that box of chocolates or flowers. Want to do something special? Be imaginative! A picnic on the living room floor by candle light. A night of disco bowling with friends. Rent his or her favorite movie and watch it in your pajamas while eating greasy Chinese takeout.
DO NOT rent any of the following Meg Ryan movies: Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Joe Vs. the Volcano (it's just bad!). As for When Harry Met Sally? Use your best judgment and remember - not all best friends should sleep together. Gotta have your Meg Ryan fix? Try Addicted to Love. She's quirky, messy, and adorable!
Do: Flirt with strangers
Just like every other day of the year, flirting is a must! You never know what can happen. An innocent flirtation can boost your ego, brighten your day, and/or possibly turn into a coffee date that may lead to a budding romance. Come on - take a chance!
Rent:Hitch, Bridget Jones' Diary
Don't: Spend your night online
Step away from the computer, People. You have 364 other perfectly acceptable days and nights to find a date or chat with other lonely hearts or troll for internet porn (not that there's anything wrong with that). Take the night off. Trust that if there's somebody out there in cyberspace for you, they'll be there on February 15th. And 16th. And so on. We get so comfortable with our cyber security blanket that we sometimes lose sight of the fact that there are perfectly lovely people just outside our front door. Where? At the coffee house down the street. Or the lounge with the groovy music around the corner. Or at the singles mixer our girlfriends told us about. The art of the in-person meet and greet is not dead. In fact, it's SO 2006.
Rent:Never Been Kissed, 40 Year Old Virgin, Swingers
Do: Give to charity
My b.f. and I adopted this trend during last year's holiday season. Instead of giving each other gifts, we pooled our resources and gave to charity. (Nothing's hotter than a guy with a heart of gold!!!) So find a cause close to your heart. Or if you need a suggestion, Oprah.com features a registry to help furnish homes for Katrina victims. Buy a set of dishes. Or a coffee maker. Or, if you can afford it, a whole darn house!
Rent:The Notebook if you're feeling especially sappy or The Aristocrats if you appreciate raunchy humor (Hey, you just gave to charity - you can do whatever you want!)
Don't: Put too much stock in one day
And one last tip. Remember that Valentine's Day is but once a year. It does not define you as an individual or serve as a gauge for your entire flesh and blood relationship. Just because you're single doesn't mean you'll never find love. Or have a successful relationship (it only takes one!). And just because he doesn't satisfactorily woo you on February 14th doesn't mean he's not in love with you. Or that so-so guy who treats you to a $100 candlelit dinner? It doesn't mean he's The One. Today more than ever, it's important to maintain perspective.
Rent:Love Actually
About The Relationship Journalist™
Lisa Steadman, AKA The Relationship Journalist™, is the site creator and editor of www.BreakupChronicles.com featuring true life tales of how breaking up with the Wrong person was the Right thing to do. She considers herself a dating guinea pig and accidentally met someone fabulous - Mr. XY - while on assignment last year and has been happily hooked up ever since. (This stuff really works!!!)
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