California Juice Bar Pick Ups
One of the many fun goals of It's Just Coffee is to have a database full of smart guys with options. Nerdy studs if you will. Geeks that can meet and attract women at the post office, as well as on the Internet. All while still being their quirky nerdy selves. I'm a nerd. And my friends can confirm I'm not a self-proclaimed nerd. Here is a Juice Bar interaction I had last week. I turned it into coffee on the spot: I "venue changed" her from Jamba Juice over to Starbucks for an instant coffee date. There was no online dating website required to set it up. Not long ago this was not in my reality. Now I know what is possible. If I can do it, anyone can.
The Setting - Starting The Conversation:
As I am waiting in line at Jamba Juice® for a nasty wheatgrass shot, I notice there is a totally cute brunette standing behind me. I'll refer to her as "TotallyCuteBrunette" throughout the rest of this article. She is behind me staring at the menu on the wall behind the counter. I'm hung over. I had four hours sleep the night before. And I had too much caffeine. I had the caffeine jitters. And I was having a bad hair day. Luckily for me, just like cracking my knuckles, striking up conversations with strangers daily is now a habit. That habit overrides my fear of what she may think of me. It overrides my fear of rejection at this moment.
As I'm about to deliver my powerhouse pickup line, I remind myself to speak with assumed rapport: To speak to her as if she's already a friend. Ok, here it goes. I look back at her:
Me: "You should get the green tea drink."
So far so good. It was a nice delivery. Had it been televised, that delivery would garner applause from nerds across the nation. The people next to us probably thought I already knew TotallyCuteBrunette. She blankly stares at me for a few seconds. Since this is a strange way for me to start a conversation, I presume she's using her feminine powers of intuition to intuit my vibe to see what I am about. I think she is using her feminine powers to intuit my congruence; my body language and such. I really don't know. She probably thinks I'm a nerd and appears undecided about liking my particular brand of nerdiness. It's a mini stare down. I felt I had solid body language. I felt well calibrated, too (My energy felt synchronous with her energy, the surroundings, and the situation.). I had strong eye contact and I was laid back. My face conveyed that I was expecting her to playfully respond to my statement. At least in my mind my face looked that way. Internally I felt nervous of course. But it worked. I passed her stare down test: She slightly smiles and responds:
TotallyCuteBrunette: "Hmm. Maybe. I'm still undecided."
Me: "I'm on a healthy kick. I'm getting wheatgrass."
I didn't want to talk about wheat grass anymore, so I looked away. Now I'm at that strange point where if I let more than seventeen seconds go by without saying something else this new interaction is dead. I'd still pat myself on the back for the sexy green tea opening statement. But I'm curious. I want to know more about her.
Four seconds later I look back at her. I ask her another question. I try again to make my voice tone sound like she's already a friend. On a spiritual/metaphysical level she already is a friend. But culture, television, movies, media, etc...had me believing this was wrong in the past. *You don't just talk to random strangers, Matt the barrista: Especially women that seem attractive.*
Me: "So. What's the most interesting thing that has happened to you today. Aside from me talking to you as if we are already best friends?"
She stares again. But only for a millisecond before the slight smile this time.
TotallyCuteBrunette: "Well. I just spent an hour in the bookstore."
Me: "I love the bookstore. I'm going to go there after this wheatgrass shot. I need to get an audio book. I'm thinking Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. I have the paperback version. But I can't seem to get through it. But I know I need the data, so I'll try the Audio Book. What books were you checking out?"
TotallyCuteBrunette: "I was looking at a psychology book. Maybe I should read the audio book, too."
She then laughs and makes fun of herself because she said; "I should read the audio book"
I laugh with her and tell her she "should start a seminar teaching people how to read audio books." What I said wasn't funny. But it felt like we were connecting enough to enjoy being in line together at this point.
Me: "Last year I was on a metaphysical book kick. I like that stuff. But I'm over it now. I've read so many books about being in the 'Now' that I've decided to stop reading about it and just get here."
She smiles. She sees me stretching my leg. I was pulling it back stretching my thigh. I was doing this unconsciously because I was feeling nervous and excited. Yep, my nerdy quirks are starting to bleed through at this point: Random leg stretching in Jamba Juice. Smooth move.
She seems warm and friendly now. I sense our interaction is at the point where if I keep my cool, I can lead her to commit even more to the interaction. It feels both exciting and nerve racking at the same time. She reciprocates effort back into the interaction with:
TotallyCuteBrunette: "I like metaphysical books. But I can't get through those. The same way you can't get through Blink. You are stretching your leg? Are you a runner, or a yoga guy, or something?"
Me: "I like all that stuff. Right now I'm into Krav Maga."
TotallyCuteBrunette: *She lights up a bit.* "I thought about taking Krav Maga. That's cool."
The Krav Maga topic, and one or two other topics, went on for a few minutes. By now I'm having fun in line with her. She has made an effort to participate in the interaction. The way she participated in the interaction gave me some data about her. The way she interacted conveyed that she's friendly, warm, confident, and possibly spontaneous. She's starting to show her uniqueness. Thusly, I now have a legitimate reason to attempt to escalate the interaction: A reason beyond the fact that she is physically attractive. I want something more if I'm thinking about an instant coffee date. And aside from being physically attractive, she displayed the aforementioned traits, plus she can make fun of herself. Very sexy.
The Call To Action:
She gets called to the counter for her drink. She's just about ready to walk over to the counter so I know it's time for a context change. I know from experience, and from the advice of some nerdy guy friends, that this is the point to change the context of the relationship. The conversational topics (content) will only take me so far before things get stale. Changing the context will keep it interesting. It is time to take a risk:
Me: "I'm having a blast chatting with you, TotallyCuteBrunette. You know what? I'm going to Starbucks for green tea right now. Lets go. Come with me. I'd love it if you joined me."
My words were not perfect. It's possible that my face turned slightly red, too. But I felt my vibe was genuine.
She pulls out her cell phone and looks at the time. Then responds back with:
TotallyCuteBrunette: "I'd like that a lot. But I only have about ten minutes."
Now the context of the interaction has changed: She knows I like her so far. She knows, based on our energy exchange, that I am curious to know more about her. And the venue has changed as well, as we're about to go to Starbucks. Since the context has changed, we can change the content (conversational topics) again without the interaction going stale.
Finally, she gets her juice drink. We walk out the front door of Jamba Juice together, turn left, and head to Starbucks.
There you have it. There were definitely no magic words from me in this interaction. Now get out there and be chatty on a daily basis.
All the best,
Comments welcome in the forum