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Top Ten Things I've Learned From Breakups This Year
(With A Little Help from My Fiercely Feminine Friends)
By Lisa Steadman, AKA The Relationship Journalist™
 2005 started out with a bang with the breakup of Brad and Jen. Then there was Charlie and Denise. Jude and Sienna. Paris and Paris (yeah, that was a real shocker!). And as the year draws to a close, the long-speculated split between Nick and Jessica. While I only broke up once this year (and have been happily hooked up with Mr. XY for months), here are the top ten things I've learned from breaking up in '05:
Breakup Lesson #1: Even tho I'm fragile, I will not break
If Jennifer Aniston can come out stronger, more successful, and possibly even more beautiful after breaking up with Brad then you, too, will survive your breakup and eventually thrive. (Just be sure to have your Friends on speed dial for those momentary meltdowns.)
Breakup Lesson #2: Ten pounds is easier to gain than lose
So unless you're planning to pull a Kirstie Alley and cash in on your extreme weight gain/ultimate weight loss, don't shoot for twenty after a breakup. (Jenny Craig doesn't have your number!)
Breakup Lesson #3: Once a cheater, always a cheater
I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but take a page from Denise's diary or Sienna's misfortunes and repeat after me: men and women with wandering eyes will always wander. So save your heart some hurt by dumping the cheating chump immediately and movin' on.
Breakup Lesson #4: One is NOT the loneliest number
Being a twosome with Mr. or Ms. Wrong is. Just ask Britney.
Breakup Lesson # 5: Rebounding may be a quick fix...
But ultimately I have to give my heart time to heal before I can move on. True, these are NOT the rules according to Jennifer Lopez. Or Jennifer Garner. But they just may be the rules according to our favorite Jen, Ms. Aniston. (And we think Vince Vaughn is the perfect rebound choice!)
Breakup Lesson #6: Like coffee creamer and condoms, some relationships have an expiration date
The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be. After all, Gwyneth dated Brad AND Ben before finding her Coldplay cutie. (And Alanis had to dump her Full House fool before she could cash in on her angst and eventually hook up with hottie hubby-to-be Ryan Reynolds. And you know he's not with her for her money - he's not that good an actor!)
Breakup Lesson #7: Breakup Karma is a bitch
Charlie wants Denise back. Same with Jude and Sienna. While it may not always seem like it, Breakup Karma ALWAYS catches up with their offenders. And your ex - if they cheated, lied, or in any way deceived you - is no exception. Just watch and wait.
Breakup Lesson #8: Success is the best revenge
So give yourself permission to be your most authentic (and fabulous) self. It worked for Ellen DeGeneres. She traded up BIG TIME with her Emmy-winning talk show and g.f. Portia De Rossi. Anne Heche who?!
Breakup Lesson #9: He may move on - GULP - before I do!
While it remains to be seen who will hook up with someone else first - Nick or Jessica - one thing's for sure. The other has two ways to handle it. With dignity or by throwing a tantrum. Yes, you're allowed to be a mess. Just not in front of him/her and their new s.o. Remember that.
Breakup Lesson #10: He wasn't right for me but eventually someone else will be
If I hadn't let go of the fading memory of The One Who Rocked My World or untied myself from my Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down adventure with the magician, I never would have met Mr. XY who, while being far from perfect, just may be the perfect person for me. Without all those breakups, I never would have been ready for someone this real. And I think that's worth a little heartache, don't you?
Lisa Steadman, AKA The Relationship Journalist™ writes about dating and relationships for a living. She is also the site creator/editor of www.BreakupChronicles.com featuring true life tales of how breaking up with the Wrong person was the Right thing to do.
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