Breakup Etiquette: A Year at a Glance
By Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist@trade;
(excerpted from It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown, available in bookstores and online May 2007)
 Thinking about breaking off a short or long term relationship? Before you do, check the calendar to make sure you don’t engage in bad breakup behavior!
Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a good time to break up. But some times are definitely more appropriate than others. The following outlines some of the best—and absolute worst—times to break up throughout the year. See where your own breakup fits in. Were you set free in the spring? Split by September? Or dumped in December? Regardless of when the breakup happened, let me be the first to say it: Congratulations!
Best-Case-Scenario Breakup Dates: May to August
Spring and summer are optimal breakup seasons. Regardless of where you live, chances are that the gloomy winter weather has disappeared and the sun is shining when you get dumped (or do the dumping). Breakup etiquette experts agree. If your relationship isn’t working, and you know you gotta end it eventually, dumping someone during this time period is not only considerate, it’s encouraged!
If your ex gave you the boot during these dump-friendly months, consider yourself lucky. He probably knew what you, too, soon will know, that it’s hard to stay depressed for long when the sun doesn’t set till late and there are healthy, happy, hot singles everywhere you go. You might even say he did you a favor in cutting you loose because now you’re free to heal your heart and enjoy a “single and ready to mingle” summer. So buck up, Brokenhearted, and be open to the endless possibilities that now await you.
Last-Resort Breakup Dates: September to Early November
Did the spring and summer fly by without so much as a hint of dating drama? Or were you on a relationship roller coaster, suffering silently until you just couldn’t take it anymore? Chances are good that at some point during the last few months (or longer, if your relationship was dying a slow death), things have been rocky. Either you or your ex knew in your heart of hearts that the two of you weren’t going to make it as a couple. Rather than suffer through the fall, endure a difficult holiday season, and barely make it to Valentine’s Day without killing each other, one or both of you consulted the breakup etiquette books and realized that it was just better to cut your losses before Thanksgiving than go through the motions until February. Regardless of who broke up with whom, these post-summer months are still an acceptable time to call it quits.
Whether you got the ax or did the dumping, if your breakup broke during this time period, you’ve got a lot to be thankful for. Like the fact that there’s one less mouth to feed at Thanksgiving, a lot fewer presents to buy at Christmas, and no longer a need to kiss your slobbering ex on New Year’s Eve. So dry your eyes, and get to work on healing your heart. You never know whom you might meet under the mistletoe this year. Very soon, you’ll be giving thanks for the one who got away.
Breakup Blackout Dates: Mid-November to Mid-February
Anyone who dumps someone during the holiday months is a total chump. The exception here is if you’re dumping some cheating chump who desperately deserves it. Assuming that’s not the case, only someone practicing bad breakup etiquette would wait until the breakup blackout dates to do the dumping. It’s just bad form.
If you happen to find yourself getting dumped during this time period, fear not. A little pity party can earn you extra Christmas gifts and maybe some giant-sized Tupperware filled with Mom’s delicious holiday goodies to help ease your broken heart. Chances are good that by Valentine’s Day, you will have practically forgotten your ex. (Now that’s worth celebrating.) If you got dumped too close to Valentine’s Day, don’t spend February 14 crying over some creep who didn’t deserve you. Instead, celebrate the fact that not only did the wrong guy get away, but soon enough you’ll be ready, willing, and able to meet Mr. Right.
Last-Resort Breakup Dates: September to Early November
Did the spring and summer fly by without so much as a hint of dating drama? Or were you on a relationship roller coaster, suffering silently until you just couldn’t take it anymore? Chances are good that at some point during the last few months (or longer, if your relationship was dying a slow death), things have been rocky. Either you or your ex knew in your heart of hearts that the two of you weren’t going to make it as a couple. Rather than suffer through the fall, endure a difficult holiday season, and barely make it to Valentine’s Day without killing each other, one or both of you consulted the breakup etiquette books and realized that it was just better to cut your losses before Thanksgiving than go through the motions until February. Regardless of who broke up with whom, these post-summer months are still an acceptable time to call it quits.
About the author
Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is an accomplished relationship writer, speaker, and coach. She is the site creator of BreakupChronicles.com featuring stories of how breaking up with the wrong person is the right thing to do (and always leads to bigger and better opportunities in life – including meeting Mr. or Ms. Right!). Her first book It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown: Get over the Big One and Change Your Life - for Good! will be available nationwide in bookstores and online beginning May 8th. Recently, Lisa has been featured on The KTLA Morning News, The Tyra Banks Show, Fox Across America, and Playboy radio espousing the positive side breaking up.
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