Bouncing Back from a Breakup
By Lisa Steadman, AKA The Relationship Journalist™
You want to know what I do to get over a nasty breakup? I take a trip. Travel abroad. I've racked up so many frequent flyer miles at this point, I could go to the moon and back. And that's okay. Because I haven't met The One yet. And rather than settle, I go for the breakup. And then I go abroad. I cry, I sightsee, I fall in love. With myself, that is. Breakups take their toll on our self esteem. But the truth is, I'm all I’ve got. And rather than beat myself up over the end of a relationship, I cherish the fact that I probably learned something along the way.
With my college sweetheart, I learned to make great ravioli from his mother's recipe. With the bodybuilder, I learned that I actually liked to workout. With the Star Wars fanatic, I realized that nice guys really do exist. With the 22 year-old, I discovered how exciting I could be to another person. And with the one who rocked my world, I learned about unconditional love, and how amazing that could feel. With each new relationship, I discovered a little bit more about who I really am and what I want out of life. And that’s the girl I fall in love with every time I travel abroad. The sassy, creative, adventuresome girl who goes to the Greek Islands in hopes of mending her broken heart, who discovers a sense of connection with the universe in the rhythmic lapping of the Mediterranean sea on the shore, and who delights in how the sun dances off the white-washed buildings in the afternoon. If it weren't for the breakup, I'd never discover these simple pleasures.
One day I hope to travel abroad with my husband. He'll be handsome and witty and cultured and totally not neurotic. And he'll love me for being unconventional, passionate, and a little bit nuts. But in the meantime, I'm not waiting for him to live out my dreams. I'm living them out every day on my own. So when he finally does come along, and his front tooth is crooked, or his spelling sucks, I'll know that’s okay. Because I haven't been waiting for my life to begin until Mr. Perfect arrives. I'm just looking for someone who’s brave and bold, ordinary and extraordinary enough to join me on the journey. After all, that's what life's about. The journey. The messy, imperfect, magnificent, and virtually invent-able journey. And what would that be without a little heartache here and there to let you know you're really alive and kicking?